Dear Father,
How can you treat your son this way? It seems that you no longer have that affection for me. You condemned me in front of all my siblings and friends. I never got to put forth my side. You just accused and then shut me up. How could you be so stubborn? Outside home you are thought of as the most merciful, most loving but why is it that you are different to your very own blood? What was my big mistake that you found it below your dignity to speak to me, to your beloved son? Am I so wrong that you wish to snap all ties between us. Am I so ill that we cannot share the same roof. It was not long time ago that we used to play in this same house. And now speaking my name is a sin to you? Where did all that love go? Where did all the warmth and compassion disappear? Father remember the time when you used to play with me and my brothers? We used to hide in different places and you used to seek us. And that one time I hid in such a place where you couldn't find me for the whole day. I clearly remember that frowned and horrified expression when you thought I was lost. I cannot forget the fear that I saw in your eyes. And then when I came up to you and innocently said, "I won!”, you just hugged me tightly and cried like a baby. You had so much love for me. I was the apple of your eye!
Father you are the one whom I respect the most. For me no one is greater than you. No one is stronger than you, no one can replace you in my life. You are the hero of my life. That day when you told me to listen and do whatever the newborn baby demanded eventhough it meant was against Your will; it was not accepted by me. Father even I, one of your eldest son, dare not go against your will, dare not question your will then how could this little baby could. I could not understand why the baby was put on a higher pedestal than you. Why did the little kid get the right to overrule your decision? Father there is no one who can be more important to me that you are, but I would never want anyone in this entire universe to have a higher authority than you. And thus to your wish of doing and accepting whatever the little weakling told, I retaliated-"Why?" Father I always listened to you, obeyed your orders. But I want you to treat me as an individual. As a responsible person. I want you to treat me like a grown-up. I want you to feel proud of me. Nowadays it seems that all you care about is that new baby. We all admire and love it, no doubt, but father we are your children too. All I asked for was a rational explanation for the special importance, special treatment given to that kid.
You thought all the praises which others have for me have lifted me off the ground. You thought I have become proud. You thought that my act of disobeying you would be imbibed by the newborn, it would be enacted by my siblings, they all would question you as I did and hence you decided to keep me away from you, away from everyone! Father you thought that my defiance would awaken the Power of Reason and Doubt in that little creation too. You feared that my brothers and sisters might demand an explanation, and you very well knew you have none. So just like a tyrant you shut me up and cut me off! In a fit of rage you disowned me. Disowned your very own blood! All you thought of was to set an example to the ones who might disobey you. All you thought of was discipline! But father did you ever think what I was feeling? Did you ever tried to look into my eyes and see my grief? Did you ever try to look into my heart and see how shattered I was? No.....! You just kicked me out of your house, out of your family, out of your love!
Father I still love you and miss you. I know all you did was in a fit of rage! Father I'm all alone here. I am scared here. I don't belong here. There is no love, no affection here. It feels completely dark. I have no one to give me hope. No one to pat my back. No one to embrace me when I'm sad. It feels that I've lost the warmth of happiness. It's bitterly cold out here father! Please take me back! I beg your pardon father. It's been several years that you haven't seen me. Father I may seem harsh and cruel on the exterior but I'm still that little kid inside. That little kid on whose face you shut the door, that little kid who still loves you, that little kid who still wants to be with you, that little kid who wants to hug you tight and feel secure, that little kid whom you never would have let go. Father, I'm still that little kid.....
Your beloved son,
Lucifer
